My Failure is Complete

This has not been a good year for our Hero on the Convention Circuit.  It started with a rough, slow, and low turn out micro-show on the Kentucky/Tennessee border.  The weather was bad, the foot traffic was bad, and it seemed like every geek in the tri-county area showed up wearing a costume, and people in costume NEVER buy comics.  It was two days of Hell, watching as the Vendor across the aisle from me sold "Mystery Boxes" (literally sealed boxes with no actual description of the contents) for $10, while my $1.50 books sat around and collected dust.  Watching people walk out with two armloads of those boxes, while not even giving my table a second look was the first time I heard the MESSAGE, but I tried to ignore it.

Along came Wizard World St. Louis.  The MESSAGE hit me square in the face on Friday, but things picked up on Saturday and Sunday, and I came out of the show a little poorer, but not feeling to bad.

SPACE went well, so I was feeling pretty okay.

Then along came C2E2.  A lot went wrong with C2E2.  I split my table with two other guys, so there were three of us crammed together desperately trying to catch people's attention.  The aisleway was huge, so it was easy to avoid us.  And we were, somehow, in the most sparsely foot trafficked area of the entire show.  Also, the show made me buy my physical table, which is just low class.  With all of that going on, it was easy to ignore the MESSAGE, but it was there, waiting for me to hear it.

Flash forward a few months to Wizard World Chicago.  Thursday was abysmal, but Thursday is always kinda pointless.  Friday was bad, though, worse than any Friday I've ever encountered (and I've been through some bad ones).  I tried not to take it personally, but when you're at a Convention for 8 hours, and you're watching people race past you, not even thinking about stopping to check anything out, it's hard not to take it personally after awhile.  I talked to a couple of friends I've made on the Circuit, and they felt the same about how the day went.  No matter, I thought, Saturday is always the best day.

Saturday was Hell on Earth.  Almost a perfect repeat of Friday, I watched in mounting horror as people raced past, not stopping to look or even glance at my table.  My first sale (and damn near only sale) came at 2:45 in the afternoon.  I've never had that happen on a Saturday.  It didn't get better as the day progressed.  When the show wrapped, I realized something utterly terrible.  I had lost.  Completely and totally lost.  And I heard the MESSAGE, which I will now attempt to explain to the best of my ability.

There are two parts to the MESSAGE, and they are as follows:

1) In general, people do not want to read small press comics any more.  I'm not sure why this is.  Perhaps it is because we are not "Approved" by the masses, or maybe it's just because we're not making comics with Batman in them.  Either way, people don't want comics.  They want prints.  They want to spend $5-20 dollars on a print, then they want to walk over to the table located directly across from me and spend $6-30 on a protective covering for the Art Print they just bought.  So, in summary, people would rather spend between $11 and $50 bucks for a $0.50 piece of paper and a $0.50 piece of plastic, than they would for a $2 to $5 comics experience.  This is the TRUTH.  I have witnessed it over and over for the last year, and I know it to be fact.

2) I have failed completely and utterly as a salesman, a businessman, and a comic book publisher.

2a) I have failed as a comic book publisher for this simple reason.  I work the same shows year in and year out, and yet every year I go back to a show, and I almost never have anyone who comes up to my table and goes, "I read one of your books last year.  I really enjoyed it.  I want to read more."  I have been working Wizard World Chicago on and off for 10 years, and no one knows who I am.  My books don't make an impression.  My work doesn't stand out.  No one remembers who I am because in all honesty, despite my best efforts, despite all of my hard work, it is time for me to accept that I am just not that good.  The people have spoken.

2b) I have failed as a salesman.  I'll admit, I'm pretty burnt out at this stage.  The Cons shouldn't be this much work.  I shouldn't have to stand up and blather and pitch and try to drag people to my table.  And I'm so tired of it, man.  Maybe I didn't try hard enough at Chicago.  But watching people ignore you and turn their nose up at your hard work is demoralizing, and I just hit a point where I couldn't put a fake smile on my face and keep up the charade anymore. 

2c) I have failed as a businessman.  I shoulda sold out long ago.  I should be doing prints of Spiderman and Batman and Star Wars and Dr. Who and Adventure Time and Regular Show.  I should be ripping people off and stealing their characters and ideas.  The comics should be a side business, because I've know for awhile that comics don't sell, but a print of a recognizable character will.  It doesn't even need to look very good.  Every show I've been to for the last couple of years has reinforced this notion, and I have been a fool to try to ignore it.  My refusal to sell out has sealed my fate. 

So, here I sit on a Sunday morning in my hotel room in Elk Grove, IL.  I am tired and burnt out and the only reason I don't feel worse is because just behind me, playing around on a Kindle, is my lovely girlfriend, who has kindly dealt with the emotional roller coaster ride I've been on for the last four days.  What conclusions have I come to?  Well, I'm done with big Cons.  Hell, I'm virtually done with Cons.  I plan on continuing to work SPACE because I love that show, and I might work the Minnesota Spring Con next year if they'll have me.  I've already bought a table at Wizard World Nashville, so I'll finish up my year there, and probably do as well as I did in Chicago (it would be virtually impossible to do worse).  I'll try to work one or two smaller shows a year that focus on comics.  Other than that, I'm done with the road, and I think the road is done with me.

For the handful of TORC Press Readers out there, despite the tone of this particular blog, I am not done making comics.  I love making comics.  It is the most fun thing in the world, and I'm not stopping anytime soon.  If you like my comics, that's awesome, and I hope I can continue to entertain you with all of the bizarre stuff that comes out of my brain.  I am committed to my plan to produce online versions of HFSAC and Skull Mob and SDF, and the website will continue to update on time, Monday through Friday.  I will also continue to produce print versions of my online comics, because I like print comics better than online ones.  I know from experience that I won't sell many books online, but that's not the point.  The point is to have fun and create cool stories.

So, what am I going to do today?  Welp, I'm not gonna waste my time and energy getting my heart broken at Wizard World Chicago anymore, that's for sure.  If people wanna buy prints, let em buy prints I say.  And if people feel cool dressing up in costume and pretending to be a hero or villain or whatever and posing for photos, that's cool too.  Live and let live.  I just don't want to be part of that world anymore.  Instead, I'm gonna take my girlfriend out to her favorite restaurant, and we're gonna catch a movie, and have a nice day out together that doesn't involve swirling emotions and guys dressed up in cheap Wolverine costumes.

And I'm okay with that.