That Thing Where You Can't Come Up with a Decent Title Because It's Late and Your Brain is Shot

New Quixote Coyote:

Hey!  Mr. Skullface Man is back!

Gonna be a crazy busy week.  I have no idea how much Quixote is going up this week.  At least I got this one done.  It's a nice little strip.

Skull Ball

I had something that had to get done yesterday, so no Quixote Coyote yesterday.  But today is today, so here's new Quixote Coyote:

My gal and I love bowling.  Unfortunately, we have two problems: 1) We never have time to go, and 2) We are probably the worst bowlers to bowl in the history of bowling.  Still, it's fun.  I also like to make comics about bowling, but much like real life, I never really have the time to make comics about bowling.  I did one several years ago, and it was a hoot. 

Ten Bones

Today's Quixote Coyote Strip:

Today's strip is so weird.  But the weirdest part is that the whole "Bowling for Bones" concept came from the original Fairy Tale that inspired this arc.  How odd is that?  Them Grimm Brothers were messed up.

Legs

Today's Quixote Coyote Comic Strip:

Ah, such a silly gag today.  It's fun making silly little comics.

And We're Back

So, I've been quiet for a bit.  Yeah, I've been plugging away on some stuff that I don't really wanna show off yet.  That's been my focus.  I'm not quite done with that work yet, but I'm getting close.  And as I've been getting close, I've been thinking about how I've left poor Quixote Coyote behind, and how much I miss the little guy and his world.  So, I thought, screw it.  I'll pick back up on Quixote Coyote because my name is Joseph Morris and I make Comics.

Anyway, here's a new strip, and yes, we're still stuck in that dang Haunted House.

As I started Night Two, I kind of forgot how Night Two went in the original Grimm's Fairy Tale that inspired this arc.  As a result, I just kind of meandered around.  Which was fun, but now that I'm back on task with the strip, I decided to get back on track with the actual Fairy Tale.  Believe it or not, this whole sequence is straight up taken from the the Fairy Tale.  I mean, a half of a dude just falls down a chimney.  Which beggars the age old question:  What the crap were the Grimm Brothers on when they wrote this story anyway?

The Definition of Insanity

"You're going to drive yourself crazy with this, aren't you?" Mei said.  There wasn't judgement in her voice, just a weary knowledge of who I am, and how I operate.

"No.  It'll be fine.  I can handle it," I replied in that voice I use when I try to sound nonchalant and confident at the same time.

Sigh.

This whole "TORC PRESS COMIX!" thing was a mistake.  And it's the same mistake I make over and over and over again.  The root of the problem is my Sawmill Job, and yet time and time again I do the same things, trying so hard to create some crazy new thing to get attention, to try to break through, to provoke a response...

Sigh.

I never learn.  This was too much.  It's all too much.  I work 45 Hard Fought Hours Every Week, and I spend my weekends on the road.  I have to change my way of thinking, or I really am gonna end up working as a Janitor somewhere (no offense to any Janitors out there reading this... but if you know me, Janitorial work would probably be my personal Hell).  The focus has to be on either making it in comics somehow or finding some sort of job I can enjoy.  The focus has to be on submission work, nothing more, nothing less.

Anyway, I know it's pathetic that I'm closing up shop on TORC PRESS COMIX after a week, but I can't be focused on a Graphic Novel that only makes sense to me.  I might still be running Quixote Coyote strips on and off.  We'll just have to wait and see on that.

TORC PRESS COMIX! 1/7/16

COSMIC PULP - 1/7/16

THIS WEEK'S CROSSWORD PUZZLE!

ACROSS:
1.  The Clown is God of _______?
2.  Octopus Jones's first name is _____?
3.  The Moment When Everything Clicks.
5.  Duck Amok craves this.
6.  Quixote Coyote's Tall, Awkward Friend.
8.  Tea Cup's Power.

DOWN:
1.  Another Word for Space Epic.
4.  The Force that moves the Universe.
5.  Quixote Coyote's Roadrunner Friend.
7.  The 5th Dimension is the Realm of ____.

Answers for Crossword Puzzle in Friday's Edition.

QUIXOTE COYOTE - 1/7/16

EDITOR'S NOTES - 1/7/16

First off, this is my first attempt at a Crossword Puzzle, so I apologize in advance.  They're much harder to come up with than they seem.

Second off, with regards to Cosmic Pulp, I am not now, nor have I ever been on drugs.  That is all.

Third off, I'm not sure whether the Action in today's Quixote Coyote makes sense or not.  The point of the strip is twofold:  1) Panda would never willingly harm anyone or anything else, and 2) Panda's so dim-witted that he doesn't really get pain.  Like I said, I dunno if the strip works or not, but it was what my Muse told me to put down, so blame her. 

TORC PRESS COMIX - 1/6/16

CROWN COMICS -- 1/6/16

QUIXOTE COYOTE - 1/6/16

ULTRA DOLPHIN BROS - 1/6/16

EDITOR'S NOTES -

I don't have much to say about the Crown Comics entry.  We'll see more of that one next week.  I will say though, that the thing I used to yellow up the page looks pretty neat.  I'm hoping when it's printed it will look way cool.  I hope.

Not much to say about today's Quixote Coyote either.  I do enjoy Panda's sheer obliviousness to the obvious danger he's in.  I also think it's funny that Waldo's Wolf Pack shows up at the exact same time that Sancho and Panda are leaving.  Comics!

Now... I do have some stuff to talk about about this last thingie, so let's talk about that.  If you haven't been able to tell, what I'm trying to do with this TORC PRESS COMIX thing is create a sort-of Newspaper Style Comics/Funnies Page.  Except it's kind of a Bizarro World version of a Newspaper Comics Page.  To heighten this Newspaper Page style feeling, I've included some stuff that you typically find in a Newspaper's Funny Pages.  So, on Monday we had The Weekly Horoscope and on Tuesday we had a (Totally Bogus) Advice Column.  On Thursday, we're gonna have a Crossword Puzzle.  The problem was, I didn't have anything for Wednesday.  Nuttin.  Now, I know some papers have Sodoku... but I have no idea how to make one of those... and why would I want to.  And some papers have a Word Jumble, but I thought that would be redundant with the Thursday Crossword.  I considered doing a Political Cartoon, but, I mean, aren't my Politics blatant enough?  Seriously, I write a comic where the Bad Guys are a Massive Corporation that pollutes and destroys entire planets and just to make sure I've hammered my freaking point across, the Massive Corporation is, in fact, from Hell.  Sooooo... there's really no need for me to have ham-fisted drawings of Donald Trump's Hairpiece taking up space on this blog.

And then, a light shown down on me from the Heavens.  And a Voice Rang Out, like the sweet hosannas of a choir of Angels.  And that Voice said unto me...

"It is time for Dolph and Porp."

And I fell down upon my knees, and cried out, "YEEEEESSSSSSS!!!!!!"

And lo, I give unto you the one thing you've always wanted, but never knew you needed.  I give you your Wednesday Exclusive Comic Strip.  I give you the most beautiful thing I have ever created with my Head Meats.  I give you...

ULTRA.  DOLPHIN.  BROS.

You're Welcome.

(Assistant Editor's Note:  It has come to our attention that Joseph may have gotten hit in the head at work and may be suffering from severe delusions.  Please ignore most of today's Editor's Note, as it is probably generated from head trauma.)

((Assistant Assistant Editor's Note:  Mei, Joseph didn't actually get hurt at work.  Don't worry about him.  He's good.))

TORC PRESS COMIX- 1/5/15

SDF  --  1/5/15

ASK JOSEPH!!!  --

Joseph Morris is not a real or licensed therapist, councillor, psychologist, or psychiatrist.  He just likes to run his mouth off and give unsolicited advice whenever he can.  If you have a problem, and you want a little advice on the matter, then feel free to contact Joseph for advice either through social media or at cactusfnjoe@hotmail.com.

Dear Joseph--
I have recently come down with lycanthropy, and I've been shedding everywhere.  Do you have any advice for me on how to deal with this?
--Full Moon in Sasskatoon

Dear Full Moon,
 Well, the good news is that Lycanthropy, or Werewolfism is hereditary, so if you've got any family, you should be able to consult them for advice.  If you don't have any living family, then the good news is that werewolves are very common, and more importantly, they're Pack Animals.  You should be able to instinctively sniff out a pack within 10 to 100 miles of your home.

Now, if you're having blackouts, and you're wolfing out uncontrollably, well that's different.  You've been cursed by a Witch.  If that's the case, sucks to be you.  You're gonna have to track down the Witch that cursed you and do whatever she tells you to until she chooses to undo the curse.  You also have the option of hiring a Witch Hunter, but there's a few problems with that.  For starters, they're expensive, they're usually jerks, and most of them aren't actually that good at what they do (never heard of a retirement home for Witch Hunters, have you?).  If you hire a Witch Hunter, and he fails, then you've got a really angry Witch to deal with.

But, y'know, it's probably just Heredity, so find a Pack and get your Wolf on.

QUIXOTE COYOTE -  1/5/15

EDITOR'S NOTES:

And so we jump from Pluto to Purgatory.  It's good to see Octopus Jones again, even if, as usual, he's in a terrible spot.  This is our first time in Purgatory.  We've been just about everywhere else at this point (even finally stopped by Hell), so it's nice to finally end up in the Place of Lost Dead.  Too bad there's not a lot to look at.

Candy Cane and Zombie Chick first appeared waaaay back in Year Two in "Truth or Consequences Monthly" #2.  They were the first TORC Press characters to get married and have a kid, namely Coby.  They died during the Battle of Ortex Tower during the Candy Colored War, which left Coby as an orphan who ended up in Octopus Jones's Refugee Community.  After Bad Rapture, Coby was seen absconding with the Puzzelor's Mask and the Vertionces' Sword, which pretty much brings us up to speed.  Obviously, things have went very, very wrong for Mango Habenero.

Octopus Jones is the Guy Who is Perpetually in Over His Head.  He's Odysseus lost at sea.  He's Gulliver in the Land of Giants.  He's Snapper Car hanging out with the Justice League.  In a Solar System at War full of Gods and Demons, Octopus Jones is the Guy desperately trying not to get crushed underfoot.

Oh, and again, I feel ridiculous saying this, but my "Advice Column" is totally bogus and should in no way be taken seriously.  Having said that, if you wanna send me a totally ridiculous question that you want a totally ridiculous answer for, please send your questions to me over Social Media or at the email address in the column.

TORC PRESS COMIX! 1/4/16

THE HOT FUDGE SUNDAE ADVENTURE CLUB --  1/4/2016

THIS WEEK'S HOROSCOPE:

CAPRICORN- Those Cybernetic Implants you're thinking about are a bad idea.  Also, the Planet Saturn is in turmoil: Avoid vacationing there.

AQUARIUS-  Now's as good a time as any to start that new idea you've been thinking about.  Squids are not your friends.

PISCES-  Beware of Bigfoot!  He's got it in for you for some reason. 

ARIES-  If you venture to Mars, make sure you remember that the Crimson Empire is in charge.

TAURUS-  Crazy stuff is getting ready to happen on Venus.  If you travel there, bring a camera.

GEMINI-  A person you like will be trying new stuff this week.  Also, don't let the Man get you down.

CANCER-  SHARKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LEO-  Let your Freak Flag Fly this week.  Why not?

VIRGO-  The Natives of Mercury may look scary, but they're surprisingly friendly.  Bring Junk Food, and you'll quickly make new friends.

LIBRA-  Pray to the Space Goddess Shiv if you're feeling troubled this week, and she will bring balance to your life.

SCORPIO-  You've got a Zodiac Sign that sounds like a Bond Villain.  You've already won.

SAGITTARIUS-  No!  Not that way!

EDITOR'S NOTES:

Welp, Cats n' Kittens, here's hoping you stuck around long enough to get to this column where I try to explain all of this.  As mentioned in the previous Blog Rant, I'm trying new stuff this year, because 1) I'm getting married in 4 months, 2) I'm moving sometime before the end of the year to a new town, and 3) I'm burnt out on my job at the Sawmill and need a new job.  So, I need to cut back on my workload.  So, I'm gonna try building a Graphic Novel, at my own pace, in my own time.  I plan on it being around 144 pages, and I'm using this as the template for it.  So, when I'm running pages of "TORC COSMIC" for a week, that's a page (or in this case... 3) of the Graphic Novel.  When I'm running TORC COSMIC, all pages for the week will be part of the GN, even if they don't seem like they fit at first glance.  So, tomorrow, be prepared for something completely different, that is still a part of this story.

I plan on taking TORC COSMIC at my own pace, so there may not be any new pages next week.  Or maybe there will.  Who knows?  I might take a week off here or there.  Luckily, I can always fill space with new Quixote Coyote strips, one of which runs above my little Notes section, and features the continuation of the lengthy "Haunted House" story. 

Other than that, it's a little ridiculous that I feel the need to type this out loud, but the "WEEKLY HOROSCOPE" is just a silly thing I am doing and should not be taken seriously in any way shape or form.