TORC PRESS COMIX- 1/5/15

SDF  --  1/5/15

ASK JOSEPH!!!  --

Joseph Morris is not a real or licensed therapist, councillor, psychologist, or psychiatrist.  He just likes to run his mouth off and give unsolicited advice whenever he can.  If you have a problem, and you want a little advice on the matter, then feel free to contact Joseph for advice either through social media or at cactusfnjoe@hotmail.com.

Dear Joseph--
I have recently come down with lycanthropy, and I've been shedding everywhere.  Do you have any advice for me on how to deal with this?
--Full Moon in Sasskatoon

Dear Full Moon,
 Well, the good news is that Lycanthropy, or Werewolfism is hereditary, so if you've got any family, you should be able to consult them for advice.  If you don't have any living family, then the good news is that werewolves are very common, and more importantly, they're Pack Animals.  You should be able to instinctively sniff out a pack within 10 to 100 miles of your home.

Now, if you're having blackouts, and you're wolfing out uncontrollably, well that's different.  You've been cursed by a Witch.  If that's the case, sucks to be you.  You're gonna have to track down the Witch that cursed you and do whatever she tells you to until she chooses to undo the curse.  You also have the option of hiring a Witch Hunter, but there's a few problems with that.  For starters, they're expensive, they're usually jerks, and most of them aren't actually that good at what they do (never heard of a retirement home for Witch Hunters, have you?).  If you hire a Witch Hunter, and he fails, then you've got a really angry Witch to deal with.

But, y'know, it's probably just Heredity, so find a Pack and get your Wolf on.

QUIXOTE COYOTE -  1/5/15

EDITOR'S NOTES:

And so we jump from Pluto to Purgatory.  It's good to see Octopus Jones again, even if, as usual, he's in a terrible spot.  This is our first time in Purgatory.  We've been just about everywhere else at this point (even finally stopped by Hell), so it's nice to finally end up in the Place of Lost Dead.  Too bad there's not a lot to look at.

Candy Cane and Zombie Chick first appeared waaaay back in Year Two in "Truth or Consequences Monthly" #2.  They were the first TORC Press characters to get married and have a kid, namely Coby.  They died during the Battle of Ortex Tower during the Candy Colored War, which left Coby as an orphan who ended up in Octopus Jones's Refugee Community.  After Bad Rapture, Coby was seen absconding with the Puzzelor's Mask and the Vertionces' Sword, which pretty much brings us up to speed.  Obviously, things have went very, very wrong for Mango Habenero.

Octopus Jones is the Guy Who is Perpetually in Over His Head.  He's Odysseus lost at sea.  He's Gulliver in the Land of Giants.  He's Snapper Car hanging out with the Justice League.  In a Solar System at War full of Gods and Demons, Octopus Jones is the Guy desperately trying not to get crushed underfoot.

Oh, and again, I feel ridiculous saying this, but my "Advice Column" is totally bogus and should in no way be taken seriously.  Having said that, if you wanna send me a totally ridiculous question that you want a totally ridiculous answer for, please send your questions to me over Social Media or at the email address in the column.