The Bob Mafia

Alrighty. Before we get to today's Rant, if you haven't read the latest pages of MONSTER KING, make sure to head over to http://www.torcpress.com/mk5.html and read the latest installment. It's okay. I can wait. I'll just read some old Jack Kirby Fantastic Four comics.

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Oh. You're caught up? Good. Let's continue.

I came up with the idea for the Bob Mafia back in... High School(? Maybe earlier, but who's really counting). The idea was a pretty simple one. I basically came up with this theory that, for some reason, Big Old Fat Guys had a weird tendency to be Mob Bosses. There's Marlon Brandon in the Godfather, there's the Kingpin from Marvel Comics, not to mention The Blob (okay, not a Mob Boss, but bear with me here) and Mojo from the X-Men. There's the bad guy from Dune (that guy was ultra fat AND creepy as hell). And, of course, good old Jabba the Hutt from Star Wars. Anyway, the idea I kind of came up with was that "What if there was this big, intergalactic mafia that did every illegal thing that could be done (Slavery, Drugs, Prostitution, Weapon Smuggling/Selling, Extortion, blahblahblah) across hundreds of Planets across the Entire Galaxy and the entire operation was controlled by a Race of Big Fat Alien Monsters who were so fat that they couldn't move on their own and needed Machines to Move, and they all came from the Planet Bob and they were all named Bob." A pretty simple idea, when you get down to it. Anyway, the idea just kinda sat inside my brain for years, and as I started making comics, I kept trying to find the right time to bring the Bobs into the Story.

The Problem is, I never really found the right time to bring them in. They just sorta danced around the edges. One of the Bobs actually popped up in the first TORC Press comic ever, "Pulp Horrorshow" vol. 1 #1, but he got killed by the Crimson Enigma. There were mentions and hints of the Bob Mafia in "Truth or Consequences Monthly" #5-6. In Era Two, the Bobs continued to get some slight mentions. If you read closely enough, you'll see references to them in "Pulp Horrorshow" vol 2 #1-2 and "SDF: Honorless Dogs" #1-3 (in the back-up story featuring El Gorio and Lab Bunny). I always had intentions of doing more with the Bob Mafia. It just never came together.

Some quick Fun Facts about the Bob Mafia:

1) All of the leaders of the Bob Mafia are named Bob and come from the Planet Bob. They are differentiated by number. The lower the number, the higher the Rank in the Mafia. For example, Bob Mk III (who appears in this week's MONSTER KING) is the Third Highest Ranking Bob in the Entire Universe. Makes sense, right?

2) Chuddo Snudd (who also appears in this week's MONSTER KING), who you might remember as the corrupt mayor of Big Town, IL in my comic "Gulatta!", was always secretly a member of the Bob Mafia. His real name is Bob Mk IX. His goal on Earth was to gradually take control of Big Town so that the Bob Mafia could use the city as an Outpost for the Bob Mafia's various Illegal Activities on Earth. Sure, they were pretty much using Foster City, IL for the same purpose (as well as a few other places, see the upcoming "Hot Fudge Sundae Adventure Club" #16-17 for more on that one), but, y'know, they're a Mafia, which means they're greedy by definition. Anyway, if things with "Gulatta!" woulda continued and went they way they were gonna go in my brain, there would have been a full fledged War between Chuddo Snudd and his army of robots vs. Eyenigma. Of course, that ain't gonna happen now, but, whatever.

3) The rank and file members of the Bob Mafia are divided into two categories. The lowest ranking members of the Mafia are a group of Clones called S.I.M.P.S. (Synthetically Intelligent Mass Produced Soldiers). If you look closely at Page Five, you'll see a bunch of Bald Guys wearing Groucho Glasses. Those are SIMPS. They are expendable and stupid and are only really good at following orders and shooting guns. The next rank up is reserved for people from the local planet that have joined the Mafia. In the case of Earth, that would be Human Criminals who work for the Mafia. The next rank up are the Guppies.

4) Millenia ago, the Bob Mafia conquered and enslaved an entire planet full of Fish People (called Fishmon). During the War, one race of Fishmon betrayed their people and sided with the Bob Mafia, essentially leading to the enslavement of the entire Planet. These traitorous Fishmon became known as Guppies (yes, I'm aware of how silly this is. Shouldn't you come to expect this from me by now?). As a reward for their treachery, the Bob Mafia made the Guppies Top Ranked Soldiers in the Mafia. The Green Skinned Guys in Suits with Machine Guns in the foreground of Page Five of MONSTER KING 6 are Guppies.

Anyway, I never really got around to doing any of that in the Comics. And I'm getting ready for the NEXT THING, so I was like, screw it, let's get rid of these guys. So that's what happens in the most recent pages. The Bob Mafia's Earth Branch gets Wiped Out. Honestly, kinda glad they're gone. It's not healthy to sit on an idea for over a decade and not really use it.