Betrayal

I hate betrayal. I hate the idea, the concept, the act. I hate everything about it. But betrayal is a part of human nature. We often times betray each other unintentionally. "I didn't know that would hurt him so much." "I wouldn't have done it if I had known that would have broke her heart." "I didn't realize..." When I was a kid, I had an annoying habit of tattling on people, government sanctioned betrayal, if you will. Not a fond memory, but sometimes you've gotta face facts. I'm human just like everyone else, sad but true.

Betrayal is all over the Bible. By definition, the concept of Sin is a betrayal of God. Adam and Eve betray God by eating of the forbidden fruit. Cain betrays Abel by murdering him. Jacob betrays Esau by stealing his inheritance. Joseph's brothers sell him into Slavery. The Israelites repeatedly betray God by turning to False Idols and False Gods. Judas betrays Jesus into the hands of the Romans/Pharisees. Betrayal always has its consequences. Adam & Eve allow Sin and Death to enter into the world. Cain is marked and forced to walk the world as an outcast. Isaac spends most of his life on the run, desperately trying not to be slaughtered by his brother. Joseph's brothers, the fledgling Israelite Nation, end up become Slaves themselves under the command of their brother. Every time the Israelites screw up, they end up paying for it. And Judas? Hung himself from a tree while his 50 pieces of silver clanked about the ground below.

Looking at the bigger picture, though, sometimes a betrayal can have... unforeseen results. Jacob and Esau eventually reconcile, and Jacob's bloodline becomes the more noteworthy. The Israelites time in Egypt allows them to survive a time of great famine.

As for the Betrayal of Jesus, the Blood Sacrifice of Jesus Christ was necessary to open the pathway for the Salvation of Mankind (I didn't mean to turn this into a Sermon or anything...I was just trying to point out how betrayal is an almost primordial instinct. Also, if you don't believe any of the stuff above, don't worry about it, just view it as metaphor, right?).

It's like that one Conspiracy Theory about how Franklin Roosevelt knew the Japanese were going to bomb Pearl Harbor, but he kept the knowledge to himself to ensure it would happen, thus bringing the US into WWII to stomp some Nazi ass. Was it right? Was it wrong?

The more I think about it in the cold light of morning, there is nothing good about a betrayal. It's never a "necessary evil". It's ugly and horrible and wrong, and the only thing we can do is survive all the ugliness that follows and salvage what we can afterwards.

Betrayal is all over the TV right now. From Celebrity Divorces to Reality Shows that Reward you for Betrayal, there is no escaping the old Knife in the Back. We've been watching "Boardwalk Empire" on HBO, and that show is nothing but betrayal. People screwing each other over for the sake of greed and petty jealousy. It's pretty sad, really.

I understand betrayal quite well. My back is full of metaphorical scars. If you look closely enough, you can still see an old, rusty knife sticking out of my back, buried there by one of my closest friends. Decades later, we both try to pretend it's not there, but... we both see it. There's always this mild tension between us, barely palpable but still there. As if we're both just waiting. "When will he pay me back for what I did?" he thinks. "When will he bury another damn knife in my back?" I think. Like I said, we get along mostly by not talking or thinking about it.

I'd like to say I quit Church because of a betrayal. But I didn't quit Church because of A betrayal. I quit Church because of LOTS of Betrayals. When I was a teenager, we had this Preacher, and, long story short, we found out this guy was a Pathological Liar. That's right. We hired a guy to speak on The Truth, and he was mentally incapable of telling the Truth. How messed up is that? In the Baptist Church we're trained at a young age to believe that a Preacher is Chosen by God to serve as a Shepherd to the Church. Needless to say, I didn't really believe that after that incident. Two Preachers later, and we get a guy who was a Dangerous Sociopath with Rage Issues. When we FIRED him (another important note, Baptists almost Never Fire a Preacher. A Preacher's gotta pull a pretty stupid stunt to get fired in a Baptist Church. After all, we don't fire our Anointed Messenger of God lightly (rolls eyes in disgust)), we literally hid the womenfolk to ensure he wouldn't try to harm anyone when we delivered the news (I am not joking about this). When we did deliver the news, we went en mass, just to be safe. Yeah. The next Preacher? Screwed me over (and used another guy to do it). Screwed my Dad over. Publicly Humiliated my Brother (multiple times). Chased off several long time families. And when his tenure ended, he engineered a Civil War within the Church that basically destroyed us. And yet, still we few survivors soldiered on (Faith is funny like that). The next guy not only tried screwed me over, he tried to get My Dad to do his dirty work for him. I had to sit there and convince my Dad that A) I didn't mind the knife protruding out of my back and B) that he shouldn't quit going to Church. In retrospect, I wish I hadn't. Because the next guy was the straw that broke the camel's back. He is a lazy, greedy, liar and a thief and an idiot, and I just couldn't bring myself to listen to the garbage spewing out of his mouth anymore. So I quit.

I talked not too long ago about how my most recent relationship unexpectedly crashed and burned over the course of a single phone call. That one hurt. Still does. It's the suddenness of it. The unexpectedness. You think everything's going fine (even if you are covered in itchy bug bites that you got from going hiking with her, which was her damn idea in the first place), and then BAM! Someone you cared deeply for is now someone you despise, and there's this little piece of you that's dead inside, and all you can do is survive and move on.

So, yeah, Betrayal sucks. Just ask the Clown, as someone he has cared really very deeply for has just literally buried a knife in his chest. The last four pages of Monster King 5, featuring one of my least favorite moments in TORC Press History can be viewed at http://www.torcpress.com/mk21.html.

I should do something life affirming today. I'm kinda bummed now.